Tag Archives: shocking

Are you SHOCKED yet?

11 May

I am just going to put this out there–I am not in a good mood this morning.

Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

No. I woke up on the same side of the bed I always wake up on. When you share a bed with somebody for a long time, your side of the bed gets established pretty well. So, I woke up on my side of the bed as usual. Cat on my shoulder and a dog trying to sit on my head. Nothing unusual there.

I was pretty grumpy last night too. I had to extract myself from the Internet before I went and started a flame war with someone–anyone.

Everything was annoying me. For example, there was this headline on The Huffington Post about Time magazine’s “shocking” cover.

Shocking has to be the single most overused word in the English language by now, thanks to the Internet.

“How can we get people to click on this link? I know! We’ll throw in the word “SHOCKING” and they won’t be able to resist!”

Ever hear the fable about the boy who cried wolf? The first time or two he did that, folks were “shocked” and came running. Then they were “shocked” to find out he was just kidding! Then when a real wolf came along, the boy was “shocked” to find no one believed him anymore when he cried wolf, so nobody came to his aid.

Then the wolf ate him, got dressed up like Red Riding Hood’s grandmother and went off to stalk the Three Little Pigs, or something. That’s not important right now.

What’s important is, stop telling us something is shocking when it isn’t because that doesn’t work anymore and, besides, since there is virtually no level of depravity that is not widely disseminated on the Internet, we are now a people who are virtually shock proof.

“Oh, yeah? Well go ahead–shock me. Just try…”

So, Time magazine has this cover that is generating all sorts of buzz because it is a picture of a woman, standing, breast feeding a 3 year old boy. Since Mom is standing, the kid has to stand on a chair to suckle her breast, and he has his eyes turned toward the camera in a “look at me, I’m a big boy and I still breast feed!” kind of way.

Sorry. I am not shocked. I am sure somebody is–the dozen or so women who make up the Million Moms may be in a tizzy, but not me. I would urge anyone who is in a tizzy to back away from your tizz right now, because putting you in a tizzy is exactly what Time magazine was trying to do.

Tizzies lead to buzz and buzz sells magazines.

What is this cover all about? It is for an article on Attachment Parenting. I have not read the actual article because I refuse to buy the magazine (because that is just what they’re hoping I’ll do) and because I refuse to register on their website because I am just so tired of having to register on websites I am only marginally interested in, just so I can read one article. (Can you smell my ennui?)

So, I am just speaking in generalities here and in no way listening to both sides of the story, but this Attachment Parenting thing sounds like a really bad idea. Apparently some mothers breast feed their baby around the clock, then keep it up long after the kid should be eating solid food. These people carry their children around in a sling and let the kids sleep with them.

The blurb on the cover of Time reads: “Why attachment parenting drives some mothers to extremes and how Dr. Bill Sears became their guru.”

Sorry, gross generality coming through–This is nuts.

Unless you are a marsupial, attachment parenting cannot be a good thing. There is a reason mother birds push their babies out of the nest.

I will admit, I am no parenting expert. My dog sits on my head in the mornings, so even my pet discipline skills are suspect, but I do know from the perspective of someone who was once someone’s child, that keeping the kid attached to you as often and as long as possible is just kooky.

Now, who wants to bet this lady on the cover of Time, a real life attachment parent photographed with her real life, attached son, is going to get a reality series? At the very least, she is hoping to get a reality series.

I am sure she’s going to say she did this cover because she wants to bring better understanding to the blah blah blah, what the heck ever. She is pretty and blond and has her breast exposed on the cover of a national magazine.

Reality TV star in the making. Mark my words.

And nowt it is Time for me to dis-attach myself from the teat of the Internet and get a move on. I hope everyone has a good day and a great weekend. Happy Friday.

And may all of your shocks be good ones!

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