Final thoughts before I leave the ground again

29 Jun

I am slightly amazed by how much time has passed since last I wrote. I shouldn’t be amazed because I have known for a while that my sense of time is all out of whack. That wackiness only get worse, it seems, with–um, time.

So here I am. Writing a morning pages blog on the morning I am leaving, again, for Paris. I should be finishing up my packing, but that just seems too practical. I will be losing most of this day riding in airplanes, so perhaps this is my final grounding moment before I leave the–um, ground.

When I returned from Paris last year, I found it difficult to write. I was drawn to visual projects and took and played with a lot of pictures. In short, Paris f*cked me up. I guess the best solution is to go back and let Paris f*ck me up some more.

On my birthday, last August, I wrote a blog about a sense of wonder and purpose that had enveloped me while I was contemplating having completed yet another year on the Earth. We always consider a birthday the day you reach a certain age. On my last birthday, I reached 54. But what fascinated me was not that I was 54, but that I was beginning my 55th revolution around the sun. It seemed like an especially meaningful event and I looked at it as a new beginning. Oh, baby–it was like New Year’s Day in my head! I made resolutions, I set goals, I laid out some plans!

And then I blinked.

And then it was this morning. 2 months before I end my 55th revolution around the sun and begin my 56th. It wasn’t a bad trip, but it wasn’t the year of achievement, character building and clarification that I had resolved it was going to be.

Why?

Because I blinked and it was this morning. Because, as interminable as some days can feel, a year is but a whisper and if you don’t listen closely, you’ll miss the whole damn thing.

Still, my 55th revolution has not yet been completed. I have 2 months before the 56th begins. There is still plenty of time to achieve at least some of the things I said I was determined to do, back when I was determined, just 10 months ago. Unless I blink.

F*ck me, I am hanging my hat on Paris.

Happy Weekend.

3 Responses to “Final thoughts before I leave the ground again”

  1. Ellen India June 29, 2013 at 11:20 am #

    I’ve been doing too much blinking too! Paris…ahhhh….Paris. I’d love to get back there one day, and good for you that you are going again! Make sure to eat some good for me.

  2. Ellen India June 29, 2013 at 11:20 am #

    Food, that is!

  3. Pamela N Red June 29, 2013 at 3:59 pm #

    Have a good time in Paris.

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