Getting Perspective in a Wet Place

11 Jun

Today is the wedding anniversary of King Henry VIII and his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. Those two royals got married June 11, 1509.

Don’t bother to send them a card. I don’t know if you heard, but things didn’t work out. Catherine was unsuccessful in producing a male heir and this displeased Henry.

Foolish man didn’t know that gender is determined by the father–the whole x y chromosome thing was lost on him apparently, I don’t think these folks really understood the finer points of reproduction. Oh, they knew what to do to make a baby, but I doubt they truly understood the recipe.

This inspired Henry to invent divorce, which must have seemed really mean to Catherine and the other Aragons, I’m sure. In time, once Henry had cut off a couple of his other wives heads, Catherine must have come around to the conclusion that divorce wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to her… Perspective!

Today is also the birthday of actress Adrienne Barbeau, TV daughter of Maude and horror movie scream queen.

When Adriene was 51, she gave birth to twin boys. Today she turns 67. No word yet on what she plans to do to celebrate. Triplets, perhaps?

Adrienne is clearly a woman who understands reproduction.  I am thinking she has actually read the recipe.

Too bad things didn’t work out for Hank and Cathy. I thought for sure those two crazy kids had a real chance at happiness.

But, Happy Birthday to Adrienne! What a gal!

In my world, a soggy weekend ends and what promises to be soggy new week begins.

I know it is raining on everyone around here but, whatever–Let’s talk about me.

I am so sick of this rain I could give serious consideration to moving to the flipping desert about now. And I am not that fond of the desert. “It’s a dry heat,” they tell you as the flesh melts from your bones and your lungs collapse.

Dry heat, my ass. The optimal word is HEAT. (The root word is HOT, hello!)

But right now “dry” sounds like heaven.

Things are so wet here in North Florida, if you spill a Dixie cup of water on the ground, you create a flash flood that can destroy whole city blocks. The planet is an overly saturated sponge and it can’t hold one more drop.

The admonition, “No Spitting!” has taken on monumental meaning. One misplaced lugie and there goes the neighborhood. Literally.

Enough complaining about the weather. I need to save my energy. Based on the weather report,  I have many more days of bitching to come,  I need to pace myself.

In the meantime, the beauty, the wonder that is Monday morning is here. Let’s all embrace it! If you have to go to work, just be grateful you have a job.


I am reminded of the wisdom of a character Lily Tomlin did back in the 70’s–“Sister Boogie Woman.” Sister Boogie Woman was an evangelist and I will close with her moving words:

“I cried because I had no shoes and then I met a man who had no rhythm!”

Again, I say, perspective!

Happy Monday. Stay dry. Or, if you get wet, try to enjoy it.

One Response to “Getting Perspective in a Wet Place”

  1. Pamela N Red June 11, 2012 at 10:35 am #

    Bill, a book you might enjoy reading is called, “Sex With Kings” by Eleanor Herman. It talks about kings throughout history and their sex lives.

    One story I enjoyed the most was about a gay king, I don’t recall his name or country. They forced him to get married because as the oldest son it was his duty to rule the country and have an heir only he had trouble sleeping with the queen so someone brought in a turkey baster.

    That didn’t work so she ended up having an affair with someone and had a son much to the relief of the king who was more than happy to claim the child as his own since he didn’t have to sleep with a woman.

    It’s an enjoyable read if you like history and scandalous tales.

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