Tube Top Tuesday

17 Apr

 

 

Is it only Tuesday?  Or is it Tuesday already?

What’s you’re perspective? I usually lean toward the latter. Which is weird, ’cause Monday didn’t seem to exactly fly by when I was smack dab in the middle of it. But here we are: Tuesday.

I greeted Tuesday with my usual zest for life–I smacked the snooze alarm a good one and nestled in for another 10 minutes.

My dog, Domino, enjoys the alarm. It is her signal that a walk is imminent. If only the lazy man will get up. Did he not hear the noise that comes from that little box? He must have, why else would he smack the box so?

Domino was a puppy when my significant other found her. Not a little puppy, but a young dog. A smaller dog. I told my significant other that the size of her feet was an indication that she would be a big dog. He looked at me like this was information I had just pulled out of thin air.

Now we have a 50lb. dog who sleeps on our bed and when the alarm goes off, she springs into action. She licks my face. She licks my ear. She lays down on my head.  Technically, she sprawls on my head. This is not a restful situation.

These are very effective tools for making me abandon my futile efforts to recapture the beauty and the wonder of sleep, if only for 10 more minutes, and succumb to the will of the dog. As soon as I pry my head out from under her prone body.

As per our custom, we went out into the dark of morn for the morning walk.

Domino greets the day with a certain level of enthusiasm. She is more subdued than she was when she was a puppy, but she is still young. There is much to sniff. There are mysterious and usually disgusting looking things to pick up in her mouth, which always elicits an unwelcome response from the leash bearer. “What the hell? Drop that! Gross!”

People drop weird sh*t on the street. Folks want to get in an uproar over unscooped dog poop?  How about, people throwing used Pampers out their car window, leaving it festering on the sidewalk. I had to step around that for days. It was quite the effort keeping my dog away from that stink bomb.

I am rarely in the mood for these morning walks. I just woke up after all. As we sallied forth from the house, all I wanted to do was go back home. So, I did the only logical thing I could do to speed up the process. I offered Domino $100 if she would pee and poop with all deliberate haste.

Domino complied, so we turned back home. Fortunately, when we got back in the house, I fed the dog, so she forgot all about the hundred bucks. Just as I’d hoped.

Yesterday was New Hire Orientation at work. Over the various collections of fortnights, years and decades that I have been in the corporate training/human resources field, I have facilitated many a New Hire Orientation. This was one more.

Sexual harassment is bad; tube tops are not appropriate work attire, even on Casual Days; don’t do drugs and don’t drink at work; park only in designated parking places; there is only 1 P in HIPAA, etc.

And so it goes.

I saw a woman in Winn Dixie wearing a tube top the other day. I hadn’t seen a tube top in a long, long time. I gotta say, the sight of this woman renewed my conviction that tube tops are not appropriate work attire, even on casual days, I had real concerns that something was going to escape every time she leaned over the cold cuts.

Whoever invented the tube top must have gotten interrupted before they could finish it. Then I guess they called in sick the next day and by the time they got back to work their company had gone ahead and unleashed their incomplete design on the world. “Oh my God–women are actually wearing those?!”

Yes–women are actually wearing those. Even in the 21st century. In Winn Dixie!

Seriously, I would be more comfortable with women walking around topless than wearing a tube top.

How the heck did I get on a rant about tube tops?

Oh, New Hire Orientation. Yeah. Don’t wear tube tops to work. Did I really have to tell you that?

While you’re at it–don’t wear them in Winn Dixie either.

My random train of thought needs to switch tracks and propel me to my place of business.

Yes, it is Tuesday already. I hope you have a very good one.

2 Responses to “Tube Top Tuesday”

  1. Pamela N Red April 17, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    lol That was funny. “Oh my God–women are actually wearing those?!”

    Speaking of gross things humans leave behind, I’ve seen condoms in the Wal-Mart parking lot and yes nasty diapers. Some humans are animals.

  2. Mary Atwood April 17, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    I recently attended an event where I (like most of the other women attending)wore a corset. While very pretty, let me tell you that corsets also are not appropriate work attire for a number of reasons – not the least of which is that it is very difficult to move in one those things. At one point I needed to bend forward and no, that was not happening at all. And one can’t yawn wearing a corset either. There isn’t enough room to expand your lungs! Made me wonder how Victorian women managed to wear them every day.

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