Dance, hope, pray

10 Apr

It is one smokey Tuesday.

There are currently 6 wildfires burning in Northeast Florida. None of them are burning in the county where I live but apparently smoke is unconcerned with trivialities like “county lines” and just goes which ever way the wind blows.

Statewide, there are currently 64 wildfires, 12 of them more than 100 acres.

The governor was in Jacksonville yesterday. He was touring some school and every time he went outside the smoke was worse and worse. Reporters asked him if he was concerned about the state’s resources to fight wildfires, the governor helpfully said he hopes there will be “a lot of rain and no hurricanes.”

He also said, “The state is dry right now, so we can all pray for rain.”

When we had a lot of fires last June, the governor recommended that we do a rain dance.

People like that wouldn’t be in positions of power if they didn’t know what they were doing, right?

Dance, hope, pray.

Wasn’t that the sequel to Eat Love Pray?

Just like last summer, as the smoke blew in, as I looked out my office window, the Jacksonville skyline disappeared. This morning the moon looks orange through the smoky haze.

“The state is dry right now, so we can all pray for rain,” sounds like something Chauncy Gardner might say.

In the movie, Being There, Chauncey Gardner said things like, “The ground is dry now, but when the rain comes, it will be wet again,” and people around him mistook his simple mindedness for wisdom. They assumed he was speaking in metaphor when he was, in fact, a complete simpleton. “Oh, yes–I see what you mean!” someone would reply,  convinced Chauncey had just made a resounding endorsement for trickle-down economics or some such when he was in fact, talking about the dirt and the rain.

Our governor is no Chauncey Gardner. I am pretty sure he is not speaking in metaphor. He just doesn’t know what else to say.

The election is in two years, so we can all pray for a new governor.

In the meantime, people who don’t know how to properly put out a camp fire should not be allowed to go camping. If you love the outdoors enough to sleep there overnight, you should love the outdoors enough to learn basic camping skills—like how to properly extinguish a campfire.

Heed the prophetic words of Smoky the Bear–“only you can prevent forest fires!”

Every time one of you bad campers screws this up, you make Smoky cry. Now, aren’t you ashamed? I certainly hope so.

This is the 21st century. I am pretty sure the Boy Scout Manual is available online. That book will tell you everything you need to know about safely putting out camp fires. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody hasn’t invented an app for that by now.

And arsonists–you’re just evil. Put down the kitchen matches, find a Pyromaniacs Anonymous group and start working the steps.

I don’t know if any pyromaniacs actually read my blog, but if they do, I pray they will follow my advice.

That’s about enough from me for now. Since my employer has not seen fit to call a “Smoke Day” and cancel work, I have to put in an appearance at my office.  Time to brave the smoke.

Maybe I’ll do a little rain dance along the way…

Happy Tuesday

2 Responses to “Dance, hope, pray”

  1. Mary Atwood April 10, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    I love Smokey the bear! And as you know, Being There is one of my favorite movies of all time. Thanks for reminding me of both.

  2. Pamela N Red April 10, 2012 at 9:25 am #

    I saw the Smokey The Bear museum in New Mexico.

    We have high winds with our droughts so it only takes a tiny spark to set an acreage ablaze. Our problem is idiots tossing cigarettes out the car window.

    We’ve had rain this year and so far no drought. I hope you get some rain soon. That’s scary.

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