Milking irony and Easter baskets are fattening

6 Apr

Good morning.

I have the day off so I slept in a little. Damn generous of my dog to let me sleep until 9. Then she did her usual trick of standing over me and licking my face. Then when I finally say, “OK! OK! I am getting up” and try to rise, she sits on me without regard to what a truly counterproductive move this is.

You cannot explain “counterproductive” to a dog.  Don’t bother, I have tried.

So, I took her for her walk.  On our way back we saw two separate neighbor dogs who were running free. Each of these dogs, in turn, ran out in front of traffic and nearly got killed.

“See, this is why I make you wear a leash!” I explained to Domino. Her indifference was palpable. But she pooped, so that’s all I care about.

After I wrote the time management blog yesterday, I managed to be 30 minutes late to work. I truly thought I was on schedule and the next thing I knew, I was running hopelessly late.

Then I was so busy at work, I wound up coming home more than an hour and half later than usual.

Irony–what a concept.

I do enjoy a good dose of irony. Even if it is self-created. You have to get your irony where you can get it, I always say. Irony doesn’t grow on trees, you know. Unless, ironically, it does… You can’t buy irony at the irony store because that wouldn’t be ironic. You can only buy irony at, um, the not-irony store, or…um…

You can only milk irony so far. Lesson learned.

Sometimes when I sit down to do these morning pages blogs, I am reminded of the McKenzie Brothers on SCTV.  Anyone remember them?

Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas played a couple of Canadian brothers who inexplicably had their own TV show and each episode they’d have to come up with a topic to discuss. They were often at a loss for a topic, they exchanged friendly insults as brothers will, drank beer and then ran out of time.

I can relate. I sit down to write a blog and I don’t usually have a topic in mind either. This would be one of those times. I know it is Good Friday, but I am not theologically equipped to emote on that topic.

But speaking of Easter, I happened upon an Easter basket calorie calculator online. There is this sliding thing that reveals images of popular Easter fare–such as Peeps, Cadbury eggs, etc. Then you click on a plus sign to indicate how many of the selected item are in your Easter basket and a separate counter reveals the calorie, fat and sugar content.

On the one hand, this is interesting because, did you know a single Cadbury Creme Egg has 150 calories, 6 grams of fat and 20 grams of sugar?  Since the damn egg tastes so good, I figured it was more like a trillion calories and a million fat grams, so this is actually good news as far as I am concerned.

On the other hand, who the flip cares?

If you are putting Peeps (140 calories, but fat free!) and Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs (170 calories, 10 grams of fat, 16 grams of sugar) in your mouth and washing them down with 1/4 cup of Skittles (which they claim is “one serving”– Puh-leeze!–150 calories but also fat free) are you really worried about counting calories?  If you are counting calories it is counterproductive to even allow yourself in the same room with a fully loaded Easter basket.

“I am watching my caloric intake. Please pass the Easter basket!” That’s just ironic!

The whole egg and bunny part of Easter is the part of the holiday that was appropriated from the pagans.  I say, it should be 100% guilt free! Leave the guilt for the church part of Easter. What better day to atone?

Oops. I may have let some theology slip in there. Pass the Easter basket please…

Whether you celebrate Easter or not, I hope your weekend is extra special.

Happy Friday!

2 Responses to “Milking irony and Easter baskets are fattening”

  1. Pamela N Red April 6, 2012 at 7:30 pm #

    I only put one chocolate bunny in my daughter’s Easter basket and everything else is gift type stuff like movies, books, make-up and jewelry. She will turn 18 this summer so no more baskets. I still give her grown brothers a chocolate Easter bunny so she will still get that. You have to cut them off at some point or they’ll be senior citizens still receiving a basket.

  2. Mary Atwood April 9, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Although I had no Easter basket this year and didn’t eat a single piece of candy, I am fascinated by the idea of the Easter Basket Calorie Calculator. Off to google that right now………..

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