You got porn on my Power Point…You got Power Point on my porn

3 Apr

Some days I am just not in the mood for life. This is one of those days.

First there’s the moment when you realize–oh crap, I’m awake. Quick–hit the snooze alarm and maybe you can recapture the sweet beauty that is slumber. But slumber, in all of its true glory, is slipping away. You reach out for it, but slumber is ever elusive and even if you get a grip on the hem of slumber’s garment, it slips from your fingers and is soon but a memory.  Slumber mutters under its breath, “I am done with you for now.”

*Sigh*

I guess I should give life a little more time before I decide I am not in the mood for it today. I was violently expelled from the velvet embrace of a very sound sleep little more than 30 minutes ago. Maybe it gets better.

I just took a moment to skim the news headlines to see if anything there would peak my interest. That was depressing.

Although, I am a little amused by the story of the priest in Northern Ireland who had a bunch of parents in to discuss their children’s first communion. He flipped on his Power Point presentation and then “accidentally displayed a series of pornographic gay images” to the group of parents and an 8 year old child.

The priest has my full and complete sympathy. I mean, we’ve all been there, right? I can’t tell you how many times I have facilitated a class or a meeting only to find my Power Point presentation has devolved to “16 indecent images of men…”

You have to go through 16 slides “inadvertently” before you decide–hey, this isn’t the content I intended to show this particular group?

“Oh, sh*t–that’s gay porn! Maybe the next slide–Oh, sh*t–Surely the next slide will return us to our regularly scheduled…Oh, sh*t!”

The real mistake the priest made was “he gave no explanation or apology to the group and bolted out of the room.” Now that is just suspicious behavior! I know every time I find myself inadvertently showing pornographic images to a group of people, I just wing it. That is what a good facilitator does.

For example–suppose I am facilitating a class on “Getting Organized’ and an image of a naked man “inadvertently” pops up on the screen for all to see. Do I bolt? No. I work it into the program.

“Clearly this man is so disorganized he has misplaced all of his clothes! Don’t let that happen to you!”

Next slide.

“Oh. Don’t these two men look very friendly. Wait–that’s three men, isn’t it? I couldn’t tell for sure the way they were…Anyway, again, they have lost their clothes and have all banded together to look for the missing clothes but have somehow gotten themselves into quite the human knot, haven’t they? So–class, what have we learned? Being disorganized can leave you naked and vulnerable and all tied up in knots! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I could definitely use a break here. 15 minutes ought to do it!”

Work it into the presentation! Pretend you wanted everyone to look at gay porn! That’s just Power Point 101!

That’s what a truly professional facilitator would do. Believe me–I know this from personal experience. I don’t have a Master Trainer certification for nothing!

Another tip–color code those flash drives. Store the porn on one of those whimsical flash drives–you know the kind that is shaped like a hamburger or one of the characters from the Twilight series? All the business stuff goes on the plain black flash drives. That way, you’re never confused about what it is you’re sticking in your computer.

If you know what you are sticking in, you’ll know what is going to come out when you turn things on.  That’s more Master Trainer stuff–write that down.

Do they teach these priests nothing in priest school?

I do feel a little more lively now. Perhaps this day will be salvageable after all. At least as salvageable as a Power Point presentation with surprise porn thrown in.

I hope your day is as well.

And remember, organize your flash drives. You won’t be sorry.

Happy Tuesday.

3 Responses to “You got porn on my Power Point…You got Power Point on my porn”

  1. Pamela N Red April 3, 2012 at 8:34 am #

    I hate when I’ve been disorganized, lost my clothes and get tied up in knots. No wait, that actually sounds like a good time at least that’s what I remember from the old days.

    Great lesson on power point presentations perhaps you need to fly to Ireland and give one to those priests.

  2. queenie~ April 3, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    love love this one bill

    just read it over Skype to jd

    he’s in Prague…for a couple of days

    hmmmmmmmmm….

    so far i’ve not had any porn pop up
    any where i did not want it to…

    love this line~If you know what you are sticking in, you’ll know what is going to come out when you turn things on.

    stick in…coming out…turn on…

    ooo la la is your blog today…

    cheers bill and ooo la la…

    thank god for the morning news…

  3. enwayne April 3, 2012 at 10:16 am #

    I have no alarm clock, per se … I use my cellphone set a suitable distance from my bed to ensure I have to get up and silence the 5:30 alarm. Then it’s the obligatory pee call, so I my body is approaching fully awake mode, if things are “normal”. Which they haven’t been for 2-1/2 days. I literally slithered over the die of the bed in order to reach the phone, and after that it was like watching a slow-moving PowerPoint presentation depicting the morphology of man from prehistoric to the present. By the time I reach the bathroom, if I’m not fully erect [sic] I’ll be having a problem.

    I vote for You making one of Your presentations into a movie so we can all watch it on YouTube, and if they balk, then x-tube. 😉

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