Reality show star annoys cranky morning blogger

30 Mar

I am all in a tizzy his morning because I stumbled across an article about Michelle Dugger. I have never seen her reality TV show, but I have heard of her.

Michelle Dugger and her family appear in a show called “19 Kids and Counting”. Apparently the premise of the show is that Mr. and Mrs. Dugger cannot stop making babies.

I am told these are fascinating folk. They have their household incredibly organized and everyone pitches in and well, why not—they’re getting paid to be themselves.

I’ve heard the jokes about the Duggers–“The vagina is not a clown car” springs to mind.

I am not going to go there.

There has been far too much discussion of “the lady business” region in the news lately. I do not want to jump into that tug of war. Except to say, women have always had, um, you know, lady parts. Since the dawn of (Wo)Man, in fact. How come, here in the 21st century, it is all of a sudden such a big issue?

DON’T ANSWER THAT! It was really a rhetorical question. I don’t have the wherewithal to get into all of that so early in the morning. I haven’t even finished my coffee yet. OK?

The article in question caught my eye because of the headline: “Duggar’s Mom, Michelle, Thinks Overpopulation Is A Lie.”

I am sure this discussion could be livened up if someone threw in some science and stuff like  facts into the mix, but that would require a bit more research than I can possibly do at this early hour. So, I am not going to get into that, except to say, if you have a family of 19 and you are still counting, you pretty much have to believe that overpopulation is a lie or you have to live with the crushing truth that you are a serious part of the problem. So, I get why Michelle doesn’t want to deal with that.

I really just want to touch on two specifics from Michelle’s interview.

One is her assertion that “the world needs more children because the world needs more joy. ”

That sounds pretty and all, but I have encountered many, many children who do not bring joy to the world. For example, children who scream and run around restaurants disturbing all of the other patrons while their parents just sit there, smiling and saying to anyone who gives them disapproving looks, “Can’t you just feel the joy?”

No, I most definitely cannot feel the joy.

Plus, children grow up. I don’t have exact stats on this, but I am almost certain that the number one source of adults in the world is children.

So many of those little joy-machines grow up to become really annoying adults. Sure, everyone starts out life as “a bundle of joy” but that only lasts a very short while. Then they grow up to become drunk drivers, embezzlers, rapists, and Lord only knows what.

Call me a cynic, but that’s just the way it is.  More children =  More adults. That’s a fine melange of math and biology. You can’t argue with an arithmetic-science melange.

I am not feeling the joy.  No, I am not.

But I am not really here to rain on Mrs. Dugger’s sunny joy parade. I am actually here to respond to one specific thing she said in her little web interview with some perky reporter from The 700 Club:

Michelle Dugger’s proof that the whole idea of “over population” is a lie is (and I quote): “The entire population of the world, if they were stood shoulder to shoulder, could fit in the city limits of Jacksonville.”)

Jacksonville? Jacksonville, FL?! I live in Jacksonville!

OK, Michelle–clown car jokes aside, now it is personal!

Not in my backyard, be-otch!

Is this rabbit-human hybrid woman out of her mind?!

I keep trying to talk people into leaving Jacksonville! I keep trashing the state of Florida on the world wide web (“the state is crawling with alligators and serial killers–visit at your own peril!”) to discourage tourism just because the people who already live here are trying enough, we don’t need more folks tromping around!

I believe Michelle and I are definitely at cross purposes.

Parking downtown on a weekday is impossible. How much worse would that be if the whole damn world was standing around, shoulder to shoulder all over the urban core?

If you don’t time things perfectly, on a weekday, you cannot get a seat during the lunch hour at any of the best restaurants near my office.

And if you do get a seat, all too often, someone has brought some screaming source of joy into the place, ruining the ambiance for everyone.

Think how much worse things would be if the whole damn world was here!

I don’t know where these Duggers live (Salt Lake City?) but you can just go ahead and slap the entire population of the world there.  Let’s see how the Duggers deal with that!

You’re so resourceful, Michelle, you entertain the population of the whole world.

Whole population of the world fitting into the city limits of Jacksonville–that’s just crazy talk. Let us never speak of it again.

Friday. I know all of the people who work Mon-Fri are going to be a little giddy today. While the folks who work weekends are not particularly impressed by this whole TGIF business. Meanwhile, the people who are unemployed are all, “God, I wish Friday wasn’t just another day.”

Perspective–so important.

It is already pretty warm here. We had an unseasonably warm Winter and even though I bitch about cold weather, I am not amused. If the trend keeps up, it is going to be 110 in the shade in July and the mosquitoes will be so dense they’ll be draining us all completely dry. It will be like True Blood, Twilight and The Vampire Diaries combined–only without the homo-erotic undertones or cute people.  Instead, just bugs. And lots of scratching.

Time for me to scoot along now so I can beat the traffic. If you don’t time your commute well around here, it is bumper to bumper all the way.

Or should I say, “shoulder to shoulder”?

Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!

2 Responses to “Reality show star annoys cranky morning blogger”

  1. Pamela N Red March 30, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    I guess I don’t watch enough television because I haven’t even heard of this woman and her tribe. Which is why I don’t watch television, now that I think of it.

    Why is it the idiots can have babies like flies and intelligent people with money have to adopt because of infertility? Something very wrong with that picture.

  2. Wendy Hames Smith March 30, 2012 at 9:20 am #

    She lives in Northwest Arkansas, before she was famous to anyone, she was the crazy lady with all the kids, I think she had 12 when I lived there….Dont quote me on that, it was some number more than normal people have. You could occasionally see them around towh, it was pretty funny. As a breeder, I must say I dont recommend children they are evil little things, I have one that is so evil we even call her Chucky. For some reason those first 14 months or so when they arent evil (with the exception of Chucky, who has never been not evil) is the part that stays in your memory, and you say to yourself, I would like to do that again. I think this is a mental health issue, and the human race would be better off if we just invented some sort of psychological drug to head that whole I want another baby thing off.

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