Daytime TV: It’s like a lobotomy in a box

23 Mar

One thing I have learned from having a big screen TV in the break room at work is that daytime programing is pretty awful.

How many court shows can there be? Judge Judy, Divorce Court, and for some reason someone even gave Gloria Allred her own show. Like she isn’t going to find some excuse to get her mug on television anyway. Some people should not be encouraged and I would put Gloria high on that list. “No TV appearances for you. You are overexposed girl! Truly, never is best!”

I am sure if someone told her that she’d promptly sue them and then go on TV and squawk about it.

There are also several shows where groups of people sit around talking about whatever. It is like someone took a look at The View and said, “Oh my God—that show is so innovative, so brilliant–we have to do more shows like that!” Right. More like, “The View has high ratings–cha-ching, cha-ching!–let’s rip that sh*t off!”

So there’s some show that that girl from Roseanne put together that has women sitting around talking. Then there’s a show that ABC put on to replace “All My Children” called “The Chew.” This is a show where people sit around talking while they eat. I think they might cook too. Who cares? I get this show was cheap to put on but for this you killed “All My Children”? Pine Valley deserved better.

I’ve noticed a lot of law firms advertise during daytime TV. I get the impression they are encouraging all of the unemployed people to sue somebody.

One of our local law firms snagged our former governor, Charlie Crist, to be their commercial spokesman. Charlie wasn’t conservative enough for the GOP base when he ran for Senate and they nominated a Tea Party candidate instead. So, Charlie became Independent. His moderate positions pulled votes from the Democratic candidate. When it was all over, neither party had any use for Charlie anymore. Pretty much no one was speaking to him after that.

So now he has to do TV commercials. I saw one yesterday and he was giving out contact information for the law firm and he said something along the lines of, “Call or write to us if you need help. Or, just write to say Hello.” Poor Charlie. He must be a very lonely guy these days. To think, he was almost John McCain’s running mate. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

We have a little tug of war going on at work. Some of us prefer news channels and some us prefer sports channels and some of us prefer network programming. I don’t spend a lot of time in the break room, but when I do go in there, I never know what’s going to be on TV.

Did you know Drew Carey hosts “The Price is Right” now? He has lost weight too. Looking good, Drew Carey.

No matter how many times someone puts the TV on CBS, HGTV, NBC or CNN, somebody else comes through and turns it to ESPN.

ESPN is a TV channel all about sports. To make matters worse, there is apparently more than one of these ESPN channels, and one of them is devoted to football.

That made a little more sense during football season because there was more to say–although all they seemed to be talking about was Tim Tebow most of the time. It became a joke amongst my co-workers. One of us would come back from the breakroom, return to our work area and say, “Guess what they were talking about on ESPN. Just guess!” And someone would respond, “Tim Tebow?” And they’d be right every time.

That football channel also shows what has to be the worst talk show I have ever seen in my life. It involves three people–one seems to be like a moderator. The other two sit on opposite sides of the newsreader desk and they argue about football. It’s like what Fox News would be like if they only talked about sports. These guys raise their voices and get all excited like in the end football matters! Can you imagine?

Who knew there was so much polemic in football?

Lately, the football channel was reduced to showing highlights of various football games of the past. Then, for a while, they followed Peyton Manning everywhere he went and when they didn’t know what was going on with Peyton, they speculated madly. “I heard Peyton is talking to NASA. Any chance he’ll become an astronaut?”–Crap like that.

Then Peyton went to Denver. This was heady stuff for the talking heads on the “let’s talk about football all the damn time” channel because this meant they could now devote ceaseless air time to…you guessed it!–Tim Tebow.

I actually didn’t hone in on the precise things they were saying, but I imagine is was stuff like:

“What is Tim going to do?” “Do you think Tim is crying right now?” “Tim is so cute when he cries!” “Do you think Jesus is mad at Peyton Manning?”

And so it goes.

Someone once said that television is a vast wasteland. I have learned that daytime TV occupies a huge chunk of that wasteland. Holy crap, America–read a book!

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend! I’ll be back on Monday with more coffee-crazed ramblings.

Anyone know what Tim Tebow is doing right this minute?

One Response to “Daytime TV: It’s like a lobotomy in a box”

  1. Pamela N Red March 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    For some reason when anyone hears I’m from Oklahoma all they want to talk about is OU football like that’s all that ever goes on in Oklahoma. When I tell them I don’t like sports they soon lose interest and move on to a more interesting person to talk to. Some people live and breathe sports and can’t fathom anyone who couldn’t care less about any of it.

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