Torn from today’s headlines

14 Mar

Good morning. It is really hard to say something that cheerful at 5:06am. But really, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I like to check in on the news headlines when I first sit down at the computer.  It is so important to be informed, don’t you think? Yeah, me to. So, I first checked local news. Top headline of the day: Woman urinates on store floor; manager arrested.

There’s a little something the kids say these days that sums up my reaction to that headline: WTF?

This seems like quite the riddle because, at first glance, you’d think if anyone was going to get in trouble, it would be the lady who peed on the floor, but no–the manager was arrested instead. What gives? It all happened at a Family Dollar store. It seems this lady had to go to the bathroom and the folks in charge of the store wouldn’t let her use the store’s facilities. As the news story says, “the woman said she could no longer wait and urinated on the floor of the store.”

The manager then took the woman to his office. Once behind closed doors, he advised the woman that he would not call the police “if she performed sex acts on him.” The woman refused. The manager pushed her into a chair and “forced himself on her.”

Again, as the young people say, WTF?

In other news of the day, the Gettysburg Museum and Visitor’s Center has decided to remove the John Wilkes Booth bobblehead dolls from their gift shop. He has a little gun in his hand any everything. And his head wobbles in that way that bobble heads do. For some reason, the museum had to actually put these dolls out on their shelf and receive negative feedback from visitors before someone said, “Oh, these might be in bad taste.”

In national news, Mitt Romney lost the Alabama and Mississippi primaries. I don’t care who won. I just care that Mr. Romney lost. This is not a political statement. I am just peeved because this carpetbagger Yankee went all over the South trying to say “y’all” with a straight face while singing the praises of “cheesey grits.” As a native of Alabama and a long time resident of Florida, this blatant pandering gave me the vapors. I had to have 2 mint juleps just to calm myself! I do declare!

Actually, I gave up alcohol for Lent. Which is interesting because I don’t really celebrate Lent, what with being a heathen and all. But I enjoy experimenting with sobriety from time to time and Lent seemed as good a time as any to give it a go. So, no mint juleps for me until after Easter. Not consuming alcohol seems like a good way to lose weight, except Easter is also the time when Cadbury eggs are in season. I shudder to remember the last time I went on a Cadbury egg bender. It wasn’t my finest hour, that’s all we’re going to say about that.

Happy Wednesday. May your Hump Day be humpalicious! I mean that in a good way.

4 Responses to “Torn from today’s headlines”

  1. enwayne March 14, 2012 at 6:19 am #

    You just reminded me how much I love this time of year, when I get to see the Cadbury Easter bunny commercials. I have seen them hundreds of times, yet I break into amused little chuckles every time :))

    The Catzenspace I love and remember, too! Thanks for starting my day offf with a big ole smile!

  2. Mary Atwood March 14, 2012 at 6:41 am #

    Yeah, the “cheesey grits” thing got on my nerves too. And he also ate catfish for a “second time”? Geeezzz!
    Locally, did you hear that yesterday morning there was a traffic alert about a vehicle crash involving a cow? Seriously!
    Ah, what a world in which we live!!!

  3. formerly queenie~ March 14, 2012 at 9:39 am #

    is that first story true? awful….just love the way mitt looks so Yankee and filthy rich….I love cadbury eggs…hopefully they do not have them here in china…I cannot resist them…I too am not proud~. good to read you bill =)

  4. Pamela N Red March 15, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

    I’ll remember not to pee on Family Dollar’s floor. Gee. It’s getting expensive to relieve ourselves these days.

    I’d rather have chocolate than liquor but that’s probably not helping your diet plan.

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