Something About the Penis

30 Jun

I recently encountered a website called Top Documentary Films ( which has links to a ton of (you guessed it) documentary films on a variety of subjects. While looking over the list I found a pair of documentaries by a British fellow named Lawrence Barraclough: My Penis and I and the sequel, My Penis and Everyone Else’s.

There was just something about those titles that intrigued me. So I watched them.

Mr. Barraclough made My Penis and I in an effort to come to terms with the fact that he has a small penis. When you consider all of the destructive things men have done throughout history to come to terms with the size of their penis, you have to consider making a movie about it a rather harmless alternative in the scheme of things.  During the course of the film, Lawrence interviews his parents, his girlfriend, a doctor who explains penis enlargement surgery, a nurse who explains non-surgical penis enlargement measures (think hand held pump), and even flies to America to attend a Small Penis Support Group. Lawrence ultimately comes to terms with his issue when he visits a woman who is famous for taking plaster casts of rock star’s equipment, who in turn makes a cast of Lawrence’s member. For some reason this plaster cast of what is admittedly a really small penis, brings Lawrence the peace of mind he has been seeking.

In  My Penis and Everyone Else’s, Lawrence seeks to get men to talk about their penises and how they feel about them and discovers that men don’t want to talk about their penises with other men. In this movie, Lawrence meets a man in Los Angeles who has always hated the size of his penis and has decided to have penis enlargement surgery–which he does, on camera. First of all, when they whipped back the sheet and revealed this guy’s bone of contention (as it were), it looked sufficient to me. Secondly, once they started cutting and moving fat from his butt to his wang, the wisdom of penis enlargement surgery totally escaped me. At the end of the movie Lawrence says he called this man and found out he was “still sore” and “not any happier.”

Some would argue (women mostly) that the reason there is a famous show called The Vagina Monologues and nothing similar involving the penis is because most of history is just one big Penis Monologue anyway. Wars, really tall buildings, the evolution of guns, etc.—that’s just men talking about their penises without saying, “Look at my dick!” out loud. So, I am sure for some,  Lawrence’s movies have way too much penis talk.

I, on the other hand, was intrigued.

Lawrence is a straight man, so his perspective on the penis is a bit different than my own. As a gay man, you could say that I have done a fair amount of research on this topic over the years. This research has taken a variety of forms and, really, there is no need to go into all that just now.

Although these movies were very dick-centric, what I came away with was a lesson I have learned as I have aged. Frankly, we make a mistake when we over identify with our bodies–especially if we obsess about individual body parts. In other words, you are not your magnificently handsome face or your hourglass figure. Those things fade. They change. They get fatter and they fall. Men with large dicks will always have larges ones, I suppose–even if they live to be 100. But what about the rest of you?

If you over-identify with what you see in the mirror, you will feel betrayed. If you don’t like it now, you’ll only come to hate it more over time. If you love what you see in the mirror, you will feel betrayed as time goes by.

So, it is best to do the best you can with what you’ve got. Search your soul and heart for a source of love for yourself that can sustain you when the external parts have lost their luster.

Wasn’t that lofty?

Oh, who am I kidding? I sound wiser than I am. In truth, I am as insecure as anyone, and the truth is, I am coming to terms with aging on a semi-regular basis. Just when I think I am all philosophical and have it together, I look in the mirror, let out a yelp and have to go running for my happy place to remind myself I am more than a body (I am more than a body, I am…)

But what I’m not going to do is have surgery. No facelift. No penis enlargement. That just looks scary. My butt fat is staying right where it is, thank you very much!

So, get in touch with your inner beauty today. And if you happen to be one of those rare people who is actually happy with your outer beauty I suggest you take a picture–it lasts longer.

Happy Thursday.

3 Responses to “Something About the Penis”

  1. That Weather Girl June 30, 2011 at 6:33 am #

    “Wars, really tall buildings, the evolution of guns, etc.”

    You left out the Humvee! Every time I see one, I just have to say. “Compensating for what?”

  2. Pam June 30, 2011 at 8:35 am #

    I love the way you look at life!

  3. Pamela N Red June 30, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    I think men are more insecure these days since women are more verbal about a guy’s size. (In the old days ladies didn’t talk about such things.) Some women figured out that is his most vulnerable spot so they let him have it if he breaks up with her. Childish but none the less there are females who stoop to that level.

    Looking for a person for the size of their endowments, be it a penis or breasts, never makes for a good relationship. It’s been my experience that men with large penises also have large egos and I’d much rather be with a guy who has a large brain.

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