Of Rain and Recalculation

16 May

Words of the Day:

Frutescent — having or approaching the habit or appearance of a scrub (savethewords.com)

Mantra of the Day: Listening (www.elsajoy.com)


Monday snuck up on us again. How’d we let that happen? Monday is tricky that way.

I had an interesting weekend. On Saturday, I rode along with my friend, Mary, as she delivered some art work to Gainesville. In order to get to Gainesville from where we live, one generally drives through Starke. Except, not this past weekend one doesn’t. Didn’t. Whatever.

There was a detour around Starke. Police cars everywhere, rerouting you down the most desolate back roads imaginable. Since Raiford, Florida’s Maximum Security prison is located nearby, one had no choice but to spin a tale imaging that some sinister desperado had escaped and was on the loose, so just to be safe, the police were rerouting everyone as far away as possible. You know, Ted Bundy and Aileen Wuonos were housed and executed in that prison–so you know whoever was running loose had to be a bad mothah-(hush your mouth!)

Later I found out the re-route was due to railroad track maintenance. Rail road track maintenance? How am I supposed to get a blog out of that?! Let’s assume the track work was a cover story, so none of us would know about the sinister escaped convict and panic. It’s much more interesting that way…

I think whoever created that detour route was in cahoots with the oil companies because it seemed to make a far wider arc around Starke than any situation required. I swear, I think we wound up in Tampa before we finally got back on track. Truly, I don’t think there was any such thing as the road not taken for us–we took ’em all, whether we wanted to or not.

Fortunately, my friend has one of those new fangled GPS units.

My long time companion bought one of those at Radio Shack, but since he never really goes anywhere, I think the novelty wore off pretty quickly. Listening to the same voice guide you to Public again and again stops being amusing after the fifth or sixth trip. So, he returned it to Radio Shack and now we have to find Publix on our own, using our wits and memory.

Mary, however, really uses her GPS unit as the inventor of the GPS unit intended. It speaks in a woman’s voice and it was truly helpful during our little road trip. My favorite part is when you don’t do what the lady inside of the GPS unit tells you to do and—I swear you can hear the irritation in her voice (did the bitch just sigh?!) as she says, “Recalculating…”  When my boyfriend and I had our GPS unit, he used to lie to her about where we were going just to piss her off. Fun.

Mary’s wits and her GPS unit guided us to our destination in Gainesville depite the most convoluted detour route in the history of detours. After we delivered the art, we took a little jaunt to Kanapaha Botanical Gardens. That is one cool place. We were looking for humming birds and butterflies but they were on some sort of hiatus when we were there. This is the second time Mary and I have been to Kahapaha together and, just like last time, our visit there caused it to rain.

Mary and her GPS unit were on top of things on the way back to Jacksonville, but we soon hit a traffic jam. We weren’t crawling along, we were actually pretty much just sitting there. Mary decided to create a detour of her own. The poor GPS unit was “Recalculating” (sigh!) like mad. I saw some back roads of Florida I swear no one has seen since Ponce de Leon came sniffing around for the Fountain of Youth. We even wound up on a dirt road at one point. “Recalculating!” (sigh!)

To make the whole adventure more exciting–it rained. It rained a lot. That kind of rain where it comes down not in drops, but is sheets. Nearly solid, so you really can’t see where you’re going. Not being able to see when you are moving forward and you really have no idea where you are–plus, there is an imaginary convict on the loose–is more excitement than anyone can handle in a single day.

Mary, to her credit, white knuckled it through the rain and found herself respected by the others who, got rained on too, and made it through. (Wait–that’s a Barry Manilow song, but you get my point…)

Mary kept apologizing, which was sweet, but unnecessary. I never do anything interesting, so I was kind of enjoying the adventure. As long as I didn’t have to drive, I was fine.

The final leg of our journey took us to Village Gallery and Framing in Orange Park. Mary had another art delivery and an art pickup. (Art is a lot of work!) I got to meet the owner, Debbie and her dog Jasper. We’ve communicated on Facebook but this was our first real life meeting. Debbie is a lovely person with truly refined taste. Yes, she reads my blog. (Hi, Deb! Give Jasper a scatch behind the ears for me!)

And then, home.

Saturday evening, my long time companion and I watched the movie Hereafter. This was one of those movies that I liked all the way up to the very end. Don’t you hate that? I was into it–kind of slow, but I was fine and then–WHA? How come that happened? Did I miss something? If you’ve seen it and have some insight for me, let me know. I feel like I missed an entire scene which might have justified what happened.

Sunday I rode my bike, went out to lunch with my boyfriend, raided the library and read. Plus, there was pizza.

Which brings us to our words of the day. What can you do with a word like Frutescent? Reminds me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail– I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. There are a lot of scrub and shrubbery references in that movie.

The mantra for the day is Listening. That is a very powerful mantra. I don’t think most people listen very well at all. I know I don’t. “I’m  sorry, did you say something? Something about scrubs? I don’t want to talk about scrubs–let’s talk about me!”

Have a safe trip through the terrain  known as Monday. Don’t be afraid to recalculate where you must.

Happy Monday

2 Responses to “Of Rain and Recalculation”

  1. That Weather Girl May 16, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    Maybe I should be called “That Driving In Horribly Bad Weather Girl” for this occasion!

    • tracy~queenie May 16, 2011 at 10:07 am #

      hey bill,

      love this blog….i’m like you i love an adventure…specially if there is company….scrubs is a great tv sitcom….

      there is this weird little cameo show that comes on where we live with a gps woman and the driver falls in love with her and she him…until he starts dating a real woman…it is a hoot…i think it is british…

      thanks for the weekend trip ~

      cheers from india…..where you should never eat a sunny side up egg!

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