If sex is outlawed only outlaws will have sex

12 May

The Florida legislature had a bang-up session. I won’t get into all of the damage they did but, seriously, if you don’t already live here–stay away from Florida! One of the laws that was passed seemed like an OK enough idea–the anti-bestiality law. That’s right, it is now illegal to have sex with animals in Florida. I have to say, not sure why this was an over-riding priority in Tallahassee, but, OK, I am opposed to bestiality, so what harm can this law possibly do?

What harm, indeed?

Well, it would seem that the law outlaws “an act relating to sexual activities involving animals” and lo and behold, a blogger over at Southern Fried Science.com (http://www.southernfriedscience.com/?p=10369) has pointed out the well known but little discussed fact that human beings are, in fact, animals too.

So if a human being has sex with another human being, that person is still doing it with an animal. We have established that sex with an animal is illegal, so that means….

Yes, it is illegal to have sex in the state of Florida.

Perhaps the law should have been more species specific. But it wasn’t. Looks like folks will just have to lay off sex altogether in the Sunshine State or risk fines and/or prison.

On the surface this looks like a collassal mistake. But actually, it could be quite the revenue producer. Just think, police officers can make a mint for the state by handing out citations in maternity wards throughout the state. “Don’t argue, ma’am—your little 8 pound bundle of joy is all the evidence we need–you’ve been having sex!” The state will be raking in the dough!

For those of us who are old and jaded, this law could actually be helpful. By making sex illegal, this law just might spice things up. Sex is a lot more fun when it is illegal.  I should know. I was breaking the law in I don’t know how many states from 1979, until the 2003 Supreme Court ruling in Lawrence v. the state of Texas overturned laws which banned gay sex.

“Oh, honey, not tonight. I am not in the mood…”

“But, baby–it’s illegal….”

“Well, since you put it that way…”

This could totally put the naughty back in the nasty. Things could be a lot more fun that way, as long as you don’t get caught…

When sex is outlawed, only outlaws will have sex. That’s hot.

And now to our words of the day:

Today’s Mantra: Courage

Today’s Save the Words word of the day is vacivity

When I think of courage, I think of the Cowardly Lion and the lesson we all learned from The Wizard of Oz. You know, the lesson about how you had the allegedly missing part of you all the time. The Lion lacked courage because he failed to recognize the courage within himself. Plus, he was scared all the time. Courage isn’t necessarily fearlessness–courage is being scared but doing what you need to do anyway.

Vacivity means emptiness. Interesting word because it reminds me of the words “vacant” and “cavity” and that feels pretty empty. If you’re talking about the vacivity of your wallet or the vacivity of your life, it seems like a sad thing. There is a lot of talk about emptiness in Buddhism–but this emptiness is not considered a bad thing. In Buddhism, emptiness means empty of an inherent existence. Everything that exists is dependent on something else for its existence, so nothing has an inherent existence of its own.

Not sure how to tie that back to the shenanigans perpetrated in Tallahassee except to say, if sex is illegal in Florida, it takes a certain amount of courage to fill the vacivity of your partner.

No word yet on the impact this law will have on masturbation. All I can say about that is, “From my dead cold hands!”

Have courageous Thursday.

2 Responses to “If sex is outlawed only outlaws will have sex”

  1. That Weather Girl May 12, 2011 at 6:44 am #

    Damn! Those guys up in “wooo wooo Tallahassee” sure know how to ruin a good time, don’t they? Perhaps they are suffering from too much cranial vacivity!

  2. Fred Lehman May 12, 2011 at 9:02 am #

    Here in Oklahoma we’re have trouble from the Canadians. I know, the Canadians??? Yep, they want to put a pipeline through OK, and they want our Gov. to declare the property they want to put it through eminent??? domain. I don’t think so. It’s private property. The oil companies in OK have to lease the land they put their well on, and there’s no way Oklahoman’s are going to let the Canadian oil company put their pipes through. It just ain’t good for business.

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