Happy Hour Blog: Chris Lee (and Jim Beam) edition

10 Feb

I opened this blog with a series of Morning Pages. Then I took a break. There was rioting in Egypt.

Not that there’s any connection between these events…

Back when I was putting up blogs on the MySpace, I used to do these evening blogs (sort of counterpoint to the Morning Pages) I called Happy Hour blogs.

In both instances, I just detained fleeting insights and random thoughts and slapped them into the space provided and called it a blog. The difference being, in the AM I am hopped up on coffee and in the PM I am hopped up on…something else.

Happy Thursday! *Cheers* (Jim Beam, please…)

I don’t know about the rest of you, but my Wednesday (and into my Thursday morning) was consumed by news of Congressman Christopher Lee.

Did you hear about this?

First–let’s just clarify.  When I first heard that Rep. Christopher Lee was involved in a sex scandal I was all, “The star of Dracula Has Risen From The Grave, Airport 77 and Lord of the Rings is a Congressman?!”

Well, it turns out that more than one person can have the same name at the same time.

Who knew? (Another round, please…)

This Congress person guy is in no way related to the actor, Christopher Lee. Instead, he is was a Congressman from Buffalo, NY.

It seems that a woman in Washington, DC (one of my favorite towns!) posted an ad on Craig’s List (one of my favorite websites) in the Women for Men personals. Her ad asked for someone to prove to her that not all men who post on Craig’s List are “toads.”  For some random reason, Christopher Lee–the Congressman, not the world-famous actor, decided to respond to this ad. Not only did he send an email, he sent a picture of himself.

Shirtless.

Posing in front of a bathroom mirror.

Self-photographed with his Blackberry.

How MySpace throw-back is that?!

I don’t know about you, but I need a moment just to savor this… (another Jim Beam on the rocks, please!)

So…Rep. Lee, wrote this gal and said: “I hope I’m not a toad.”–then he inserted one of those keyboard created smiley face things that I refuse to reprint here.

The next thing Christopher Lee, Congressman from New York (and NOT the star of The Man with The Golden Gun, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes or Sleepy Hollow ) said in his email is: “I am a fit, fun, classy guy.” (Except he didn’t bother with the commas. Apparently “fit” and “fun” “classy guys” can’t be wasting their time on actual, you know–punctuation.)

I think I need another drink…

“Here is the best part. You have a head start. If you are among the very young at heart…”

Actually, that last line was a song lyric. But our stalwart Congressman is apparently “among the very young at heart” (as it were), ’cause the next bit of info he conveyed to this anonymous lady (he seems determined to woo) is, “Live in Cap Hill area. 6ft 190lbs blond/blue. 39.. Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint.”

This is kind of a poignant moment for me. Being all gnarly and middle-aged and all… Imagine. The need…the desire…the very thought process that says, “lie about your age. make yourself seem young. say you’re….39…”

Who pretends to be 39? Once you’ve passed 39, it is time to stop pretending, but…

Christopher Lee is 46.

Oh, who am I to judge. I haven’t dated in (mmmm, carry the 9…) 32 years. What do I know about dating protocols?! BUT WAIT…there’s more…

Isn’t there always more when it comes to a sex scandal?!

After an email exchange or two (oh, Internet, you make it so easy to woo…and to lie…Is there any difference?!) our pal, Chris (and surely by now we may call him Chris) tells his potential new friend that he is “divorced.”

Christopher Lee is married. 1 child. (To his credit, he did mention the one child in his “I am divorced” email. Not sure what the actual wife thinks about this. Waiting for her to write a book…)

Unfortunately for Mr. Lee, his online lady friend Googled his name, checked his email address against Facebook and lo and behold, she (like a long in the tooth Nancy Drew) discovers that Christopher Lee is NOT 39 years old, NOT divorced and NOT a lobbyist but a real life genuine CONGRESSMAN!

“Hell hath no fury”…and all that. “Ms. Craig’s List Ad” decided to send the emails and the shirtless picture to Gawker, an Internet website who was happy to report it online post haste.

Oops.

Congressman Lee’s office was swift to respond. With some lame story about his email account being hacked…

That lasted about 10 minutes.

“Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire. Kinfolks said, you gotta move away from there…”

There may have been a momentary digression…one moment…”Jim Beam, you behave! You hear?!”

Alas, Congressman Lee abruptly resigned. After only a few hours of scorn and embarrassment.

What a buzzkill. A one day scandal?!

This is America! We expect so much more from our elected leaders.

It should be noted that Christopher Lee is a Republican.  Usually the guys from that side of the aisle are involved in scandals involving boys, prostitutes or airport glory holes so, in the pantheon of Family Values Hypocrites, Mr. Lee is a rank amateur.

For myself, I must note that former Congressman Lee voted against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Frankly, a man who is so interested in the particulars of the sex lives of others should expect this kind of karma.

I have heard it is very cold in Buffalo. I bet it is chillier than ever for the former Congressman Christopher Lee.

He might want to invest in a nice bottle of Jim Beam…

Happy Thursday evening, everyone.

6 Responses to “Happy Hour Blog: Chris Lee (and Jim Beam) edition”

  1. Pamela N Red February 10, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    This is great. Does he not realize being a sort of celebrity that someone is going to recognize him even without a shirt and tie? It worries me that we vote in people with such low intelligence.

  2. Fred February 10, 2011 at 7:52 pm #

    Uh huh, now this is the kind of blog I live for. You happy hour blogs are always up to the giving me a smile and a reason to live.
    Love it.

  3. Jane from SW Ohio February 10, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    I am so glad you are blogging SOC morning blogs, Happy Hour Blogs along with all the rest you share!!

  4. enwayne February 11, 2011 at 6:58 am #

    Ahhhhh, this is the witty Billy I came (sic) to know and love!. Great writing, my Friend! ❤

  5. Lisa February 11, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    “one of those keyboard created smiley face things that I refuse to reprint here”

    ROFLMAO I love you, Bill – even if the price of that love is very, very high. One day they are going to find me dead at my keyboard and the headlines will read “Woman Found Dead – Choked on Coffee”

  6. That Weather Girl February 11, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    He did prove he isn’t a toad. Instead he is an idiot. Toads are much smarter than that.

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